she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
