well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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