just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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