So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
