Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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