Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
