Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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