I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
