Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
