Cold hands, warm shart.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
