We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
