Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
