well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
