I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
