Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just high enough for therapy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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