I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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