There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
