my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
