Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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