This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
