Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
