WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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