Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
