On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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