why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't deserve a penis
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
