i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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