Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
