Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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