id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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