I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
