he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
