Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
