So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
