4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
