Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
