She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
