no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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