I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
