chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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