I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
you would pick up someone in the library
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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