new low.... made out with someone while peeing
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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