its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I want to have your abortion
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
