My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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