I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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