Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
