so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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