My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Quick, to the slutcave!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
