Define "chronic" masturbator.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
