I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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