Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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