i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
