so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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